Bidonio - Bidonio
Bidonio
Bidonio - Photos
An online storage tool?
Here, there’s no dumb AI mixing up your kid with your dog or your grandma (looking at you, Google). Nope, you’re doing all the work yourself! Yep, you’ll have to manage and organize your photos like a grown-up. Took 1,000 vacation pics? Well, good luck with that, you’re going to regret it fast, but hey, it’s your call, champ. The bright side? Once you’ve sorted everything (hang in there), you can share all those 'fun' moments with your family and friends on our awesome social network. So, get to it, and good luck!
Download App
An online storage tool?
Here, there’s no dumb AI mixing up your kid with your dog or your grandma (looking at you, Google). Nope, you’re doing all the work yourself! Yep, you’ll have to manage and organize your photos like a grown-up. Took 1,000 vacation pics? Well, good luck with that, you’re going to regret it fast, but hey, it’s your call, champ. The bright side? Once you’ve sorted everything (hang in there), you can share all those 'fun' moments with your family and friends on our awesome social network. So, get to it, and good luck!
Download App
Screenshots
Quick overview of the app and service design.
Phone
Computer
This overview is just the foundation, the default theme of Bidonio. But hold on, customization here isn't just some basic 'light or dark' option. Oh no, we go way beyond that.
You can totally give it a flawless look: pick your colors, change the background, the text, and even the icon colors. Yep, you can tweak everything until your app is as unique as you are. Because we know you love being fancy.
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The goal of this service?
The goal of Bidonio Photos? Let’s be real: we got fed up with Google Photos, a service that starts off free only to trap you later with limitations and mandatory payments. The export button? A total joke, especially when your gallery is packed. And don’t even get me started on that automatic facial recognition… seriously?! After 10 years, they send you an email asking for your consent, like 'LOL, haven’t we already taken everything?
Honestly, their AI is a nightmare. At first glance, you think it’s not bad, but when you dig deeper, it’s total chaos: babies mixed up, dogs and humans confused, and don’t even get me started on the locations! The search engine with its automatic #tags? We never really figured out when we actually gave our consent for that.
So at Bidonio, we did the exact opposite: here, you’re the one in control of sorting things. No algorithms, no AI poking around in your memories. It’s your privacy, especially when it comes to your kids, and we respect that.
Oh, and we also tested an app for sharing family albums, but between the limitations and the slowness, it was a nightmare. And as for privacy, it was sketchy at best. I mean, no one stores millions of photos for free without some ulterior motive, right? With us, the idea is to create a social network around your photos, so you can simply share them with your loved ones, without forcing dependence or playing on emotions. We respect you, plain and simple.
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How does it work ?
So, it’s really simple. First, you send us all your photos and videos, we take everything, and dump it in a magical folder called 'To Sort' – in other words, the junk drawer. Then, you just carry on with your life, like digging holes in the garden or whatever. When you feel the urge to take a break, like when you’re in the bathroom (we all know that’s where you spend time with your phone), you open that folder and start sorting: by album, by person, by location, or even by pet. The best part? You save lives on your mobile games. Pretty cool, right?
Once you’ve done your sorting, you end up with nicely organized albums: people, places, animals, all of it. And then, magic! Each category becomes a complete album, with its own feed and filters that let you group all that joyful chaos together. There you go, your collection is organized and easily accessible. You feel productive; it’s beautiful.
Now, when you’ve got content, you can share it with your guy, girl, or even friends (cool, right?). But wait, it gets even better. You can share anything that isn’t marked as 'private' with a group of friends. Yep, because Bidonio (yep, that’s what we call it) has friend categories specifically for that. Like, you automatically share all your photos with your guy/girl. You can also share pictures of your kid (who is a 'person,' just to clarify) with your whole family. Can you imagine? Your baby parachuting, boom, you upload it, sort it, and bam, Grandma and Grandpa see it right in their feed. And they can gush over it with a 'Wooo, that’s cool :)'… while discreetly calling social services.
Oh, and one more thing: we created a feed that shows you photos taken around the same time of year, like 'memories.' No need for artificial intelligence for that, just a simple but effective little algorithm.
We also have a system that lets you find photos of yourself in your friends' albums (except the ones they've marked as private, of course). But if they’re public, you can see them. Not bad, right?
Please, sign up.
Limits and access ?
Bidonio Photos is for everyone; you don’t need a subscription just to stalk your friends' or family photos. We’re not here to break up families; that’s not really our vibe. So, no worries—you’ll be able to like, comment, and drool over everyone’s shares without any problem.
But… (because there’s always a 'but'), if you want to publish your own photos and share them, you’ll need to cough up some cash. Our subscriptions? Honestly, it’s almost theft… for us! If you’re interested, there’s probably a button lurking somewhere on the site; good luck finding it.
Now that you’ve subscribed (well done, Sherlock), know that every photo or video you send is stored with its original file. Like, two years later, if you want to create an emotional montage for a funeral (oops, sorry), you’ll still have the files in top quality. In short, we keep the original and create visible versions for everyone, including you. Videos included. And just for fun, we also give you versions in 240p (the Minecraft version), 480p for the heroes surviving the Third World connection in Europe, and of course 720p and 1080p for those who still think it lacks sharpness.
Oh yes, if you’re cheap and don’t pay, you’ll get videos in poor quality… and to spice things up, we’ve implemented a mischievous algorithm that occasionally throws in some good old porn instead of your video. Remember Emule? We’re diabolical (okay, it’s a joke… except for the porn).
Alright, when it comes to space, get ready: a 4 GB video can quickly turn into a cheerful 10 GB with all the extras we add so everyone can watch it. But don’t worry, our unlimited subscription is ridiculously affordable. Cheaper than Google Photos. So, sleep easy and capture every amazing moment, like your kid skydiving, without stressing out.
I’m all alone in the world, please sign up !
Always up for a little boost! Got something fun in mind ?
Ah, still not convinced by Bidonio, huh? No worries, here are some user testimonials from folks who apparently had an existential revelation thanks to this thing. Brace yourself, it's going to be juicy !
Elon Musk :
Since I started using Bidonio Photos, I can share all my selfies in my Tesla from Mars. No more hiding in space!
Mark Zuckerberg :
I've finally found a place where I can share my vacation photos with my friends. Thanks to Bidonio Photos, I can finally live my digital life in peace!
Steve Jobs :
Bidonio Photos is the app I wish I had created. Who would have thought that sharing photos of apples could be so addictive?
Sundar Pichai :
I love Bidonio Photos! Now I can store all my Google puppy photos in one place.
Bill Gates :
With Bidonio Photos, I can organize my travel photos without worrying about being interrupted by vaccine discussions. Long live privacy!
Sheryl Sandberg :
I use Bidonio Photos to share family moments. It’s like Facebook, but without the need to 'like' every moment. Thanks, Bidonio!
Tim Cook :
I share my family photos on Bidonio Photos. Finally, a place where I can tell Siri to stop interrupting me with cat photo suggestions.
Jack Dorsey :
Since I joined Bidonio Photos, I no longer need to twist my memories. Now I can share them peacefully, without the 280-character limit!
Jeff Bezos :
Bidonio Photos lets me store my vacation photos on a private platform, far from Amazon's fast delivery hustle. Perfect for a bit of relaxation!
Satya Nadella :
With Bidonio Photos, I organize my memories just like I do with my Azure data. But here, I can truly enjoy life.
Sign up for them, please, please, please !
How much does it cost and how does it work economically ?
Ah, you're curious to know more, aren't you? No worries, let me give you a quick rundown. Here's the deal: at Bidonio, you pay based on your digital closet. The more old socks and questionable mementos you stash inside, the more you'll have to shell out. But if you're just here to snoop around your friends' closets, relax, it's free! And don't worry, our closets aren't made of solid gold; the first one will cost you about the price of a kebab for the year. So, if you want to store your stuff online without breaking the bank, this is the place to be!
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